LINKDING

Summary: <blockquote>“She doesn’t like you like that,” comes Luo Binghe’s voice, so irritating that Liu Qingge’s face sours up like they’ve bitten a lemon. They direct a wintry glare at Luo Binghe, whose chair has been scooted as close to Shen Yuan’s empty one as possible in her momentary absence. Luo Binghe smiles beatifically at them, drawing her finger slowly in a circle around the rim of Shen Yuan’s finished drink- then raising it to her mouth and sucking the lingering wetness off her finger, pulling it out with a graphic pop.</blockquote>

Summary: <blockquote>“Wow,” he says. “Well, in that case.” He leans against the counter and looks at his quiet apartment. The thing is: he was always going to say yes. He has no impulse control and he’s always good for a laugh and he’s kind of lonely. And since he knows Lan Zhan would never want to actually date him, he might as well take what he can get. “In that case,” he says a little more firmly, “I’m in.” So that’s how it starts. The worst, best thing to ever happen to Wei Ying.</blockquote>

Summary: <blockquote>In which Wen Qing and Jiang Cheng are very much not married, but everyone thinks they are. Or: 5 times Jiang Cheng gets injured and 1 time Wen Qing does</blockquote> ➤ sort of pretend relationship

<blockquote>“She gave you weed?” She asks, and then, scowling, “you’re not suggesting we—” Feng Xin makes a face at her. “No, are you kidding? With my baby in the room? You really think a lot of my parenting skills, huh.” “Sorry,” Mu Qing mutters, because Feng Xin is a good dad, for the most part, once she stopped being stupid about leaving dangerous shit around her apartment. “I thought,” says Feng Xin slowly. “I thought you might want it?” “I don’t even drink,” Mu Qing says incredulously, “and you think I might want the shitty weed you got from the potential cannibal you went on a bad date with?” “Weed is different from booze,” Feng Xin argues. “Maybe it’ll help you, like. Relax, a little.” “Who the fuck says I need to relax,” Mu Qing snaps. “Fuck,” says Cuocuo, gummily but unmistakably. Mu Qing stares at Feng Xin, who stares right back. “Please tell me that wasn’t his first word.” </blockquote>

<blockquote>Sha Hualing considers that somehow, she might have been the only person on Luo Binghe's top ten contacts who hadn't figured out that he was gay before now. She throws her phone at the fridge so hard that the screen cracks.</blockquote>

<blockquote>“It is possible,” Hua Cheng began slowly, for once looking like a real person and not a god who had meticulously chosen a human suit in which to travel this petty and boring mortal world, “I may have lied a little, to my cohort. I may have told them, a few of them, not many, I was married.” “Okay,” Xie Lian said, assuming he was talking about his special someone. “To you.” “WHAT.” Or: After a meltdown goes viral and ruins his acting career, Xie Lian moves to LA. Unable to find work, he slips into a severe depression, until Shi Qingxuan hooks him up with a new roommate, an art student who has apparently been telling everyone they're married.</blockquote>

<blockquote>Wei Ying grabs a pen from Lan Zhan’s desk, curling his legs into a lotus pose under the arms of the chair so he can easily spread the journal out across his lap. Even upside down, Lan Zhan can read his large, messy characters scrawled across the top: Lan Zhan and Wei Ying’s Rules for Dating. Perhaps this was a bad idea.</blockquote>

<blockquote>"I don't want to really date anyone. It's so stupid, I just need to pretend date someone until Jiang Cheng gets his act together, then go back to my own life." He stares at his empty coffee cup. "Date me," Lan Zhan says. Then he looks at Wei Ying's empty cup. "Would you like another cup of coffee?" "Always," Wei Ying says automatically. "But wait, what." "I'll get you another cup." Lan Zhan rises smoothly from the table. "No, wait, hang on." Wei Ying grabs his wrist before he can take the cup and Lan Zhan freezes up, staring down at where Wei Ying is hanging on to him. "Fuck, sorry, I'll—" Wei Ying hastily lets go of his wrist. "Sorry, I—what did you mean?" "I can pretend to date you," Lan Zhan says. "You take it with cream and sugar, correct?"</blockquote>

<blockquote>When Jaskier finds out that his ex-boyfriend is getting married, he convinces Yennefer to help him stage a fake proposal so he can ruin the wedding. There's just one problem: it turns out they both know the caterer.</blockquote>

<blockquote>“That’s my supervisor,” said Nile, lowering her voice. “He told me he had a blind date. I don’t think it’s going too well.” “Well, if he needs to be rescued,” said Nicky, “let me know.”</blockquote> ➤ consists of: Holding Out For A Hero Academic Proposals

<blockquote>It’s a really unfortunate thing, developing a crush on your husband. Wei Ying had assumed this would be easy. Lan Zhan had been so icy and unpleasant to him, it had never occurred to him that he might end up spending the next however many years with this dumb, burning feeling in his chest whenever he looks at him. “Okay,” says Wei Ying. “But tell me if I…if the pretending gets to be too hard, okay?” “It will not,” says Lan Zhan, quietly certain.</blockquote> ➤ hahhhhh I read this eons ago and just kept not bookmarking it, whoops

<blockquote>In which Lan Qiren and Jin Guangshao are conspicuously terrible, Lan Wangji decides to fake-date Wei Wuxian about it, and literally no braincells are consulted.</blockquote>

<blockquote>"Lan Zhan!” Wuxian exclaims as soon as the door to Lan Wangji's apartment opens. “Fake-date me!” The door slams shut in his face. or, The Best Laid Plans of Wei Wuxian.</blockquote> ➤ the one where they're very involved in a Chinese Cultural Society

<blockquote>"So," Arya declares as she signs her name at the bottom of the contract. She finishes off the final k with a flourish, a swooping curve that loops once and underlines the preceding letters. "We're in agreement." Gendry nervously takes the pen from her and signs his own name, a shaky and unsure signature that differs so incredibly from hers. "We are. I look forward to fake dating you until this wedding business is through." Arya grins at him, and she feels a twinge of pride at seeing him gulp at the flash of her teeth. "That's what you think." (Or, the fake dating AU for Gendrya Week that no one asked for.)</blockquote>

<blockquote>In which Romeo and Juliet try to be impulsive and romantic, Rosaline and Benvolio get drunk and stupid, and what happens in Vegas... does NOT stay in Vegas.</blockquote> ➤ this appears to be fanfic of a canon source that is itself a modern au of Romeo & Juliet? But it works just fine if you only know the original shakespeare

<blockquote>"Jyn talked herself into a corner with her grandma," Han explained. "Now she needs a fake boyfriend for Christmas." "Why doesn't Cassian do it?" Luke asked, and Jyn scowled at him. [In which Jyn, in an attempt to get her mother's overbearing, gossipy, and traditional family off her back for one freaking Christmas, conscripts Cassian to join her as her (fake) boyfriend for the whole week in England. Shamelessly, wildly, gleefully AU.]</blockquote> ➤ Feels more like origfic bc it's so far divorced from canon, but I enjoyed it regardless

<blockquote>Luke Skywalker's parents are never going to be able to afford the college of his dreams. Luke resigns himself to community college. His best friend, Wedge, has a different idea. / Mind still scrambling for some sort of solution, Wedge asked, "Marriage? It's legal for you to get married." "And thank God for that." Luke rolled his eyes. "I don't know if you've noticed, buddy, but supreme court decision aside, there's not a lot of options for gay guys around here. Besides, how does that pitch go, marry me for the student loan debt?" "Okay," Wedge responded. </blockquote>

<blockquote>The one where Keith and Shiro decide that pretending to be dating at Shiro's ex's sister's wedding is the best idea ever.</blockquote>

<blockquote>It starts, embarrassingly enough, with an ad from Craigslist: "I’m a 21 y.o art student (male), writing a thesis on the relationship between performance and the awareness of the audience. You don’t care about that. I’m an actor offering to give you the most dramatic night of your life. I’ll be your date to any event/function/family gathering, and convince your friends/family members that I’m either: the biggest mistake of your life or the best thing that ever happened to you. Up to you. I’m very good at what I do."</blockquote>

<blockquote>boston > boston/camb/brook > housing > apts by owner $2-300 Roxbury small room in 3-br 1-bath house, spouse preferred (Roxbury) Pair of siblings looking for housemate. Due to extenuating circumstances I will share with interested parties, I would prefer a roommate who is willing to get married for legitimate personal reasons that do not include sex or anything sketchy. If not interested in marriage, room still available for $300/month plus utilities. Pets okay, no smokers, NO DRUG USE. Please don't just email me to tell me this is fucked up, I know it is, you really don't have to tell me. If you are interested in the marriage part, a female spouse is preferred, but male would be okay too. I promise I will explain this if you really want details, but I'm not putting it online. Serious inquiries only.</blockquote>