LINKDING

summary: -dick jokes [screenshot of a text from Peerless Cucumber that reads “Do you still take commissions?”] -passionate ranting no fucking way he’s still alive??? -binghe obsession of course this is how we find out -homoerotic undertones maybe he really was dead and he just rose from the grave to commission art of lbh one last time in a totally hetero way ofc -binghe obsession ofc ➤ it's an outside pov fic consisting of a chat between pidw friends in a discord specifically for discussing Peerless Cucumber ➤ Peerless Cucumber has reappeared after being absent from the internet for a year, and he wants to commission art of himself and his husband in sqq x lbh cosplay ➤ cue the chat going wild ➤ it's SO FUNNY and so much fun, I love this fic both in premise and execution, chef's kiss ➤ 2.4k words

Summary: At the end of the 5-year mission Spock is 'offered' a promotion. He resigns instead, and Kirk spends months regretting his insistence. Then Spock reappears on Earth. Everything improves... but oddly, some people in Starfleet Command take exception to Spock's changes. Hopefully talks with the Klingons go well – Spock has been very helpful. ➤ very funny star trek tos fic about admiral kirk, and spock deciding "fuck it all" and leaving starfleet to become kirk's secretary ➤ tbh I think these two tags on the fic capture everything you need to know: Kirk thinks Spock is having some sort of identity crisis, Spock already had the crisis and he's just embraced his slut phase ➤ kirk is so bewildered and spock is so serenely confident in everything he's doing and it's amazing to watch ➤ also there's a plot about ship sabotage and klingon ambassadors and stuff ➤ 50k words in length

Summary: Shang Qinghua is dropped without warning into an archaic alternate universe, ie. the Oxford University collegiate system. And, okay, there would have been a warning if she read the college brochure properly before she applied… ➤ modern AU f/f moshang where they meet as college roommates ➤ I appreciate that it's set in a specific college and the details about it are made use of to build out the sense of setting ➤ I love sqh's narrative pov, she's so funny! ➤ I also love the glimpses we get into the cumplane friendship and into the whole....situation sqq has going on with the harem of young men who are in love with him while sqq is oblivious to how gay everything is. ➤ and the moshang is super cute. mbj and sqh are both bad at communicating, in very different ways, and mbj is doing her best! ➤ 9k words in length

Summary: <blockquote>The gang finds out that everyone has kissed Lan Wangji except for Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian has a meltdown about it and then fixes the problem as quickly and thoroughly as he possibly can.</blockquote> ➤ modern AU wangxian fic wherein wwx finds out that lwj has kissed all of their friends except him ➤ obviously he immediately goes insane about this ➤ I'm very charmed that this is a "mutual pining" trope fic wherein the two of them never doubt for even a moment that they are each other's most important person ➤ the writing is extremely funny. such good comedy bits overlapping with the genuine emotions in ways that make both parts better! ➤ 31k words in length

Summary: <blockquote>Shen Qingqiu hates Proud Immortal Demon Way's sex scenes. Shang Qinghua tries to change her mind. With a hands-on demo.</blockquote> ➤ yes more tshirt fic, can't stop won't stop ➤ this one's about shang qinghua and shen qingqiu arguing about whether sqh's sex scenes are at all believable ➤ which of course leads to a hands-on demonstration ➤ during which OBVIOUSLY they don't stop arguing ➤ it's so funny and so in character and it's amazing ➤ the excerpts from pidw that are read aloud as evidence are also peak comedy ➤ also it's rule 63 ➤ 3k words in length

Summary: <blockquote>After Mobei Jun loses access to his trust fund, he needs a new income source. Luckily for him, Shang Qinghua is rich, single, and inoffensive. What more could you need in a man?</blockquote> ➤ tshirt is a genius, this is SO funny, I'm dying ➤ modern au where mbj is a trust fund baby who's lost access to his trust fund, and what is he going to do, WORK for money?? no. ➤ enter sugar daddy sqh, or possibly findom mbj's paypig sqh ➤ 3k words in length

Summary: <blockquote>All of Heaven has been brought to its knees by the hot new gatcha game, Celestial Confluence/Cultivation Cross. The gods are at each other's throats, and are at the brink of civil war, in pursuit of the rarest of .pngs. Chaos reigns. And it is most emphatically Hua Cheng's fault.</blockquote> ➤ a silly funny fic about hua cheng causing chaos in heaven by creating a trendy new gacha game ➤ xie lian, bewildered, ends up on shi qingxuan and ming yi's livestream about the game ➤ hua cheng is absolutely willing to get distracted from the game by gege ➤ there's some excellent comic timing in here! ➤ 6k words in length

<blockquote>“Do you really think Shen Qingqiu would want you to live like this?” the traitor said. “Don’t presume to speak of him to me. He is gone, and my will is my own.” “Yeah, I just mean like. When he’s back.” / This is how Luo Binghe spends time until Peerless Cucumber is reborn, a very long time after he dies on Maigu Ridge.</blockquote> ➤ remix of advanced self-saving, lbh during the time he's waiting for peerless cucumber to exist

<blockquote>For the first half-day of the 105th Immortal Alliance Conference, Yue Qingyuan almost felt like everything might go off all right. Unlike the last time Cang Qiong Mountain Sect had hosted the Conference, the speakers were in the right order—the head of Huan Hua Palace needed to feel important, given the quantity of silver he sunk into this money pit every fourth year—and no one had skimped on the service on the sect leaders' platform. Beautiful, buxom women in soft pastels played popular compositions on the qin and circulated with trays of beverages while the sun rose high above the day-drinkers. Standing by the balcony with a cup of wine in his hand, Shen Qingqiu looked pleased. Ah, if only that welcome expression weren't so worrisome.</blockquote> ➤ the one where they're co-chairs of the conference!

<blockquote>So yes, I still do bad things, BUT --</blockquote>

<blockquote>Jingyan rolled his eyes a little. “I mean that there is no need to be secretive,” he said. He nodded at Meng, who was looking both confused and alarmed. “It is unkind of you, Sir Su, to force Commander Meng to tell lies; it makes him very uncomfortable.”</blockquote> ➤ pretend dating that's really truly only for pretend and doesn't go anywhere

<blockquote>“What am I looking at?” Lando leaned forward and laced his fingers together. “My taxes.” He paused, then gestured to Han. “Our taxes,” he corrected, with an unnecessarily rakish grin. Leia squinted at the datapad. “Tax fraud.” “Oh, no no no. Absolutely not. My accounting is impeccable.”</blockquote>

<blockquote>TO: Commander Spock, USS Enterprise NC-1701 FROM: Sybok, Vulcan Embassy, San Francisco, Earth RE: T’Pring lol</blockquote>

<blockquote>Bar is a normal fangirl who begins to question her sanity after reading the entire works of erotic author Chuck Tingle over the course of one month. But when her hot lesbian sanity shows up in her bedroom and shows her the true cosmic significance of pounding butts things take a turn for the erotic. This erotic tale is 2,300 words of jokes and sizzling human on anthropomorphic personification action, including anal, fisting, and cunnilingus, but mostly jokes.</blockquote> ➤ the fanfic the tingleverse has always needed, opening up the joys of anthorpomorphic personification sex to more than just dudes

<blockquote>For Mamzellecombeferre. Not... quite what you asked for, but I hope you don't mind. Brought to you by the fact that corpses were apparently 10 francs a pop at the Hotel Dieu. WHAT A DEAL.</blockquote>

<blockquote>"'The Institute of Cross-Time Education welcomes you! You have been personally selected to take part in this exciting opportunity for cross-time exchanges of cultural knowledge and entertainment..." And Professor North, the lucky classicist, is responsible for instructing the resulting set of extremely classic students.</blockquote> ➤ I'm quite sure I'm missing a lot of the humour by not knowing most of these people but it's hilarious anyways

<blockquote>When a seemingly compromising photograph makes James and Camille household names overnight, they decide to run with it. But can they keep their fake relationship strictly professional when James is so darn pretty?</blockquote> ➤ I have no idea who these people are but this is a thoroughly enjoyable fic

<blockquote>"It would be very irresponsible of our husbands and wives to let us go wandering, in what must be an enchanted forest, without their close supervision. It's nearly certain that we are married to each other."</blockquote>

<blockquote>In which Vanessa and the Mystery Solving Teens Uncover a Dastardly Plot, Participate in Civic Life, Stake Out a Villain's Headquarters, Lie to a Small Child, and Ramble through Nature Au Naturel. Or, How Vanessa Dragged the Mystery Solving Teens Toward Graduation while Committing Aggravated Assault on the Rules of English Grammar.</blockquote>

<blockquote>Combeferre only wanted the foot.  “I’m sorry, Joly, I really am, but I don’t need another leg.  I don’t have room for another leg.  I told you you could have shared with me when I got one last week.”</blockquote> ➤ med student hijinks with dismembered body parts!

<blockquote>Sometimes, even former spies and ex-revolutionaries need help from unexpected sources.</blockquote>

<blockquote>I don’t know if you have ever had your torso scraped with a butter knife by your valet. There is not much in the experience to recommend it. Particularly when you suspect said valet is not entirely happy with you, and so wields the implement with more vim than strictly necessarily. Or, the tale of how Bertie and Jeeves finally Confessed All to each other, despite – or, possibly, because of – the passion-dampening affects of Giant Squirts, thwarted wrestling, unhappy boating, rabbits (both of the Luminous and Dream varieties), an aunt who breakfasts on the ground bones of nephews who displease her, and a pair of very natty yellow socks.</blockquote>

<blockquote>In which Susan identifies "Where's My Cow" as a proto-talismanic anchor for Young Sam's continued health and existence, and tries very hard not to wonder what the Vimes' butler does on his day off. There may also be a lesson about the meaning of Hogswatch, but no one wants to talk about that.</blockquote>

➤ When Arthur comes out as gay to his father, Uther is horrified and doesn't understand anything but HE WILL NOT REJECT HIS SON so he determines to LEARN. And somehow Merlin ends up being the guy guiding Uther into a better understanding of gayness. ➤ Main focus is Uther-Merlin friendship ➤ originally on kinkmeme here: http://kinkme-merlin.livejournal.com/32553.html?thread=34760489

➤ alien dude's pov of Kass' "Think of Atlantis" alien sex ritual fic. ➤ amaaaaazing outsider pov

<blockquote>There's an alien in the Hub, and it's trying to communicate. This borders perilously on crackfic.</blockquote>

<blockquote>Team Sheppard is sitting at a table and they need to open a jar. Rodney says, "Give me five, ten minutes, tops, I'll modify some Replicator nanites." John says, "I didn't want any mustard anyway." Ronon spends five minutes straining to open it. Teyla picks it up and says, "Wait, the plastic wrap is still on this." . . . and then we said, wait! I bet the people on Atlantis tell each other that joke all the time! In fact, I bet there's a whole bunch of jokes that are only told on Atlantis. So then eruthros and I started telling those jokes, LIKE FOR EXAMPLE:</blockquote>

➤ the one where aliens are appalled to discover an intelligent species made out of meat. They're all like, "MEAT, SERIOUSLY???" and agree to pretend it never happened and mark the entire sector of the galaxy unoccupied.